As I was falling asleep last night I prayed for my friend Mike, who recently attempted suicide, again. I prayed for my Dad as well. And as I prayed I recalled how when I got hurt my Dad would say, "I am sorry, Kev."
Maybe I had fallen off my bicycle, or jammed my fingers in the door, or had a splinter lodged in my sole so deep he couldn't pull it out with tweezers. It was always so heart felt and although it wouldn't take the pain away I knew it meant he was there for me. And as I prayed for him last night I knew I couldn't take his pain and suffering away. Rather I prayed that my Dad would know that I am sorry.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
November 27, 2009
Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. On Friday, Sandra, Amber and I drove to Clark University to pick up Nathaniel. This Thanksgiving was spent at home with Sandra and my three children and later in the afternoon all 5 of us visited my Dad at Sentry Hill.
For many years we would travel to Gloucester, MA., to the home of my Uncle Michael. He would invite my mother (his sister) et al, my sister et al, sometimes his wife's family and my family to their home. (Since my mother and father are divorced my father was never invited.) Going to Gloucester for thanksgiving was a big part of my children's family experience for which I am very grateful to my Uncle. It was often the only time we would see my Uncle and his family throughout the year. Last year he emailed me and said he wasn't inviting us because they made other plans. And again this year he didn't invite us.
I think his breaking ties with us was due to my maternal families state of disharmony. My mother and sister asserted themselves against my wife, children and myself ultimately threatening to take partial custody of my children. The matter escalated as my sister told my mother many untruths. Without asking me my mother believed my sister. Their threats were probably the most detrimental actions I have endured. Nature provides most creatures and certainly humans an instinct to protect their young and Sandra and I felt very threatened. As we felt in jeopardy as a family by my mother and sister it is impossible to include them in our lives as we previously had. The matter was absurd and caused overwhelming stress.
It is unfortunate for my kids. My mother was the only grandparent they had who would do things with them on an individual basis, although seldom. And my sister the only aunt who took an interest in them as far as family goes. In a perfect world things would be different.
After we had Thanksgiving Dinner all five of us visited my Father. He was happy to see us. Throughout the day I had felt unsettled as I could have brought him to my home for dinner. But I felt it would be safer not to. So we talked with him about things he could remember. My daughter had recently written a paper for her American History class about his serving in the Korean War which put a twinkle in his eye, as well as a few tears. I would dare say he is as proud to be a veteran as anything he has ever done.
I am so grateful to have amazing kids and an amazing wife. My father takes pleasure in spending time with us and I am so glad that I can occasionally bring us all together.
For many years we would travel to Gloucester, MA., to the home of my Uncle Michael. He would invite my mother (his sister) et al, my sister et al, sometimes his wife's family and my family to their home. (Since my mother and father are divorced my father was never invited.) Going to Gloucester for thanksgiving was a big part of my children's family experience for which I am very grateful to my Uncle. It was often the only time we would see my Uncle and his family throughout the year. Last year he emailed me and said he wasn't inviting us because they made other plans. And again this year he didn't invite us.
I think his breaking ties with us was due to my maternal families state of disharmony. My mother and sister asserted themselves against my wife, children and myself ultimately threatening to take partial custody of my children. The matter escalated as my sister told my mother many untruths. Without asking me my mother believed my sister. Their threats were probably the most detrimental actions I have endured. Nature provides most creatures and certainly humans an instinct to protect their young and Sandra and I felt very threatened. As we felt in jeopardy as a family by my mother and sister it is impossible to include them in our lives as we previously had. The matter was absurd and caused overwhelming stress.
It is unfortunate for my kids. My mother was the only grandparent they had who would do things with them on an individual basis, although seldom. And my sister the only aunt who took an interest in them as far as family goes. In a perfect world things would be different.
After we had Thanksgiving Dinner all five of us visited my Father. He was happy to see us. Throughout the day I had felt unsettled as I could have brought him to my home for dinner. But I felt it would be safer not to. So we talked with him about things he could remember. My daughter had recently written a paper for her American History class about his serving in the Korean War which put a twinkle in his eye, as well as a few tears. I would dare say he is as proud to be a veteran as anything he has ever done.
I am so grateful to have amazing kids and an amazing wife. My father takes pleasure in spending time with us and I am so glad that I can occasionally bring us all together.
KU6CZR6DHT6W
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)