Yesterday was Father's Day. In the last few years my family has evolved like never before. My oldest son is living in another city, my youngest son is home for the summer. My daughter's dreams are evolving from the unreachable to reality. My father has been in an Alzheimer's unit, my mother treats me as if I don't exist and my in-laws are plagued with health issues. Recently my mother-in-law has suffered a series of strokes and has lost use of her arm and leg requiring her to move into a nursing home.
My oldest son and his girlfriend visited yesterday. It is amazing to see the person he has evolved into. I know that his life won't be without the same trials we all endure but he has an awesome start. To have him here for Father's Day was very special for me. I have never really taken notice of this day in the way I did yesterday.
My youngest son cooked me crepes for breakfast with fruit filling. He was very proud of his efforts as was I. I was flattered that he got up extra early, before a long work day and made me the focus of his attention.
After working in the garden for a bit and after lunch, I went to visit my Dad. He was very happy yesterday. He was beaming with a huge grin. It was very easy to be with him. He couldn't talk very well at first. We went for a walk around the facility at Sentry Hill. And then we sat in the sun. I asked him if he remembered when I was born, if he saw me be born. He didn't really answer and then I told him that back then he may not have been allowed in the delivery room. He perked up and agreed. I then asked him about one of my earliest memories. I asked him if he remembers holding me in a rocking chair. Immediately he said, "right next to the front door." I was flabbergasted. I asked him if he did that often. Without thinking he said, "Oh, no!"
He has carried the memory of holding me for maybe 50 years, through his dementia. And I have carried the memory of being held, helpless as a baby in his strange arms and feeling comforted. Is was comforting sitting in the warm summer sun with him yesterday. He was at ease and excited. He was happy. In spite of all my concerns the world was spinning and my dad in spite of all the other possible emotions he could be experiencing because of his unfortunate situation was happy. Wow.
Hi Kevin. I read your entire blog a few weeks ago and found it very insightful as to what it is like to live with a parent with alzheimers. Thanks for sharing. I hope to see you writing some more on here.
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