September 12, 2009

I woke up early this morning (for me), around 5am. Couldn't get back to sleep so I went downstairs on the couch and watched part of a movie on showtime. It was called the The Creator. It was about a mad professor at a research university using cells from his beloved and dis ceased wife to create a clone. He was also extracting eggs from a nympho maniac he had friended for stem cells. He was a much older man and she was 18. They became lovers. At the same time he recruited an assistant who was a student and they began a strong friendship that was uncharacteristic. I don't recommend the movie but it did get me out the door with my camera and down into the woods.

I took lots of pics. I was in an area where my father and I spent lots of time hunting when I was growing up. I also spent lots of time down here with my Aunt Evelyn who owned the property before my Dad and then myself. My kids grew up in these woods and as I walked along there were still artifacts testifying to their long ago prescene. All of these thoughts co-mingled in my brain. It felt euphoric, daunting and lonely.

The late summer is particullary beautiful down there. It is just behind my house. So many memories came back of my Dad and I down there, looking along the river banks for deer tracks.

I let the feelings and emotions swell up. I remembered how I love the smell of applying gun oil on the guns when we returned from hunting. I remembered the smell of chain saw exhaust synonomous with seeing my father. I longed for the multitude of memories that I cherish as I was in this place that we loved to frequent. Where we were nearly always rewarded with the site of a deer. The early morning light was so beautiful.




I sat down on the river bank and began a poem. But was interupted by a huge wave of emotion. I started crying. I sounded more like a damn fool than I could imagine. I tried to stop my pathetic whaling to no avail. I needed a good cry. I did manage to write a bit of a poem. The end was like this.

"I love you Dad"