Two days ago I went to see my Dad. It was a perfect spring day. Everything outside was green as we walked from Sentry Hill along the paved road to Woodbridge Road and back. On our return we paused and sat in the sun on a bench over looking a one or two acre pond with fountain amidst the shingle style architecture. My Father liked the sun on his face. Although it was in the 70's he was bundled up in two heavy shirts.
My Dad made several attempts to tell me something that was on his mind. He could get the first 2 or 3 words out but then would loose his train of thought. He calls me by name, still. He looks more lost than a few months ago but there is still a person inside his body. A kind and loving person.
Earlier, upon my arrival and before our walk, I met with a lady from the State of Maine who was going to be making recommendations on how the staff would proceed with a relationship my father is having with a female resident. My father and his lady friend have displayed much mutual attraction for each other and have been noticed by the other residents and staff.
The lady from the state really wanted to know if his family consented to his being sexually active with another person. It seems that at certain times they will embrace and kiss each other. My father has also been found in her room in what would be questionable circumstances had he been married, though he is not.
My sister and I both agree that he can do anything he likes as does the guardian of his partner.
The lady from the state told me that although a relationship of such isn't common it happens and when both partners are consenting in her opinion it is wonderful.
After we returned from our walk we went out back to the fenced in courtyard. I left my Dad in a chair in the sun and told him I was leaving to go to work. He was very quiet, I didn't think he heard me. And when I moved closer to make eye contact he said, "Kev, things don't always work out the way you want them to." I realized at so many levels he and I were the same. Both still moving through life, unsure of tomorrow, unable to be liberated from our wants and desires.
