Thursday, June 11, 2009

June 11, 2009

This is my dad responding with joy when I visited him a few weeks ago

I wish I could say things are improving with my dad since my last blog entry but they haven't. Infact, right now, I am thinking my poor dad. He seems to have a bit less of his core memory than a few months ago but still surprises me occasionally with things he does remember. Sometimes he remembers peoples names when we drive by their homes in places that I am unfamiliar with. I find this remarkable. But generally he forgets more than he remembers and is constantly starting to say something and after a word or two asks me to help him out. Of course I am clueless. Although his days don't parlay him with new memories. Sadly, he has two or three primary re-occuring streams of thought. So when I try to guess what he is trying to say I stick within these topics.

He refers to his primary frustration most. He wants to go home. He wants to have freedom and doesn't feel it is just that he be kept against his will. Secondly, he asks if I have heard from Theresa. Theresa is a friend of his to whom he holds very dear to his heart. She meets him for dinner every few weeks. Either my sister or I accompany them. Theresa brings her father along who is 98 years old. I consider him to be a true marvoul of human endurance. He is spry, alert and a very caring soul.

And third he often mentions that his ribs hurt. Never enough for him to require medical attention although he informed his doctor about this at routine check ups and has been assured he is fine. This pain could be the result of his fall in January when he broke some ribs.

Most of his conversation revolves around these three topics and I am always happy when something else replaces him mentioning going home. At this point my sister and I are resigned to the idea that he could never survive at his home, alone. He has told us that he won't have 24 hour care if he goes home. So there is no other choice.

I have mentioned to him many times that if he wanted to go home he is free to do so. There is no one individual accountable for him. He is held in captivity due to his inability to leave Sentry Hill, on his own. I told him I would not help him get home but that he could ask someone else or call a cab. The concept is too much for him and he changes the subject. If he called my bluff on this I would be very uncomfortable and would takes steps to be satisfied he was safe.

There aren't many hours that pass when I don't think of him and feel very sorry for him and the ordeal he has been dealt. He is still very kind and thoughtful. When he comes to our house he helps clear the table after dinner and most recently asked if he could empty and take out the trash (as the container was overflowing). I find this a mystery as it is out of character for him.


My dad and I indulge in his all time favorite
confection, a French Twirl or what we call a cream horn.
(375 calories, yikes!)

I am planning on having my dad over for dinner on Father's Day. My wife is inviting her father (and mom) as well. My 3 kids will be home. We are planning a walk on the beach in the morning, some gardening in the afternoon. I am looking forward to the day.

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